Her Mom's story:
On June 15 I lost my father to Prostate cancer that he originally was given 4-6 months to survive which he went on to lead an active full life with occasional treatments until his passing at age 78, nine years after his diagnosis. Going through that loss was difficult, but having my husband diagnosed with stage three non–Hodgkin Lymphoma B-Cell was unthinkable.
So let’s start there. Mick and I, a nurse working for the TRICARE program in Florida, got up one morning and Mick noticed a small nodule on his neck right above his collar bone. I looked at it and felt it and immediately realized that it was not going to be good. I told him to call his Internist and get an urgent appointment to see him. Anyone that knows Mick knows that nothing is done with any haste. He’ll call when he thinks about it and accept an appointment whenever it is convenient for the doctor’s office. Anyone that knows me, knows that the appointment better be today! So when Mick called me to tell me his appointment was in two weeks I told him to go to his doctor’s and wait in the office until he was seen, NOW! which begrudgingly he did.
So now we have seen the internist and he is referring him to an Oncology neck surgeon. Again I deal with Mick’s wait and see attitude… I could have killed him before the diagnosis was even made. I called his doctor’s office and said that we needed the appointment immediately. The small pea size tumor was now the size of a golf ball in a period of three days. By week’s end when he saw the surgeon the nodule was the size of a baseball and a biopsy was scheduled immediately. Mick refused to think it was anything and I knew it was something. The surgeon did the biopsy and came to talk to me, and my mother, stating that removing the tumor was impossible because it had grown too large and was located between the carotid artery and the jugular vein. Not really ideal placement. He also said that even though he was sending the tissue off he could tell us it was CANCER. My heart stopped, but they rolled Mick into recovery right away and I had to hold it together. I told him the report; the tears welled in his eyes and mine too.
He was admitted to the hospital to begin the first round of chemotherapy that afternoon. Now everyone says how horrible Chemo is, and it is I don’t want to say it wasn’t, but Mick had not one complication from it. Thank goodness because what a baby he can be! He referred to his condition as CANE-KER refusing to say cancer. He told everyone about the ”OPEN HEART” surgery he had when they put the port in. Seriously they did it under local. I have had more trouble from the doctor trying to draw blood from my vein for lab tests than he had with his port placement. He received his first cocktail of chemo and was sent home the next day. He ate almost anything he wanted and never really got sick. After the first round of chemo and the discharge from the hospital on Friday, he went back to work on Monday. The tumor had shrunk back to tennis ball size and within a week was not visible.
Mick scheduled his chemo every third Friday. I would take him to the cancer center, they would “plug him in” and he would spend the next 8 hours eating popsicles and getting back rubs, oh and also 7 different chemo drugs killing off the CANE-KER cells. On Monday he would return to work as if nothing happened. After his completion of the chemo, he underwent radiation therapy. That was not as easy because it temporarily destroyed his taste buds, but that is okay because he lost the 30 lbs. he gained on chemo.
His oncologist told us that he had a very aggressive form of cancer in the lymphoma and he would treat it aggressively, which he did. A couple things from my point of view I want to share. Even though Mick did not have the typical side effects from the chemo, sick, weight loss etc, he did have hair loss. Mick is a large old white guy from the Midwest, bald looks good on Michael Jordan not Mick Eberhard! I asked him please don’t shave his head. PLEASE! To my dismay I came home from work to find he had done just that. He might not have been ill but now I was. How could I live with a 50 something white guy with a bald head? I cannot even imagine him with hair now, so he shaves his head every day because I think bald is sexy now! Live and learn I say.
All together it was a long year. Radiation concluded in August. He went for PET scans every 3 months to make sure there was no re-occurrence. Every three months I would get sick to my stomach until the doctor would give us the all clear sign. That was 8 years ago and Mick has been clear and with the grace of GOD will remain clear. He still gets PET scans every 6 months now and the re-occurrence rate at this point is very low. I never want to think that his CANE-KER is gone for good; because I always want to make sure we are vigilant in checking. But I feel good about the odds. He is beating CANE-KER every day!
Her Dad's:
Son of a bitch. That was my reaction to hearing my name and the word CANCER in the same sentence. No one, no matter what the age, wants to ever hear the "C" word when it’s them who is being talked about. After the initial shock comes the pity party, where denial takes hold. Followed by the “why me” and “what do I do now?” This takes about two weeks to reach this stage. This is when you need to reach out to the people who care about you for support. You then make the decision to either fold or kick ass. I made the decision to fight with everything I had. Those who know me would say I take everything in stride, not this time. When you see how much you are loved and needed, the only thing on your mind is to get better. Your attitude is so positive that the people around you get tired of hearing all the great stuff coming from your mouth, all the while they are so supportive and happy you have decided to win. Every day I thanked God for those people, they made the decision to win easy.
Let’s regress (not a good phrase for someone with cancer). When first diagnosed, your first instinct is to push everything and everybody away to protect them from being hurt by imposition you are going to put them through. This could be the dumbest thing you will ever do (pity party). This is when you have to rely, confide and trust the people you love and need more than ever. There are a couple things that need to happen every day, first when you wake up thank God for those people, then put a smile on your face for all is good. After hearing that word I do not believe there was a time in my life that I felt more positive about everything in my life. I believe that attitude along with many many hours of prayer is why I am here today. So for anyone who hears the "C" word be it related to you or someone you love and need, It is up to you to make the decision to live as happy and long as possible, showing that every minute is precious time that can never be taken away from you.
