Step by Step

Writing this takes me back to the small baseball locker room that Todd and I shared for four years during the winters of our high school days.... Every evening, Monday through Friday from December to February, young men filled the space vying for a spot on Henderson's Spring Legion. The musty atmosphere was always elbow to elbow; bodies moving systematically from drill to drill, amongst makeshift hitting machines and conditioning stations.

At the helm of this precision, with eyes on everyone, was the late Coach BT Wayne. Operating in such tight quarters, you could rarely escape his panoramic gaze. Occasionally, you could find a few blind spots that would allow you to take breathers without him noticing. I'm admittedly guilty... I was always one that showed my best amongst his full attention, but found relief (and my breath) in the nooks and crannies the space offered.

However, I cannot say the same Todd, who's best was always on his sleeve. During those four years in that locker room, I don't know if I saw anyone work harder than Todd. I remember cursing him under my breath as I assumed his extreme efforts were only to embarrass those around him.

It wasn't until I stepped away from high school and college and moved into the work world, did I realize that Todd was never out to make others around him toil in humility. Todd put 100% effort into every second he spent in that locker room, whether the eye of judgement was on him or not. Todd had set a level of expectation for himself that not only made him better, but everyone else around him-- myself included.

When I caught wind of Todd's battle with cancer, I was walking though an airport in Los Angeles. As the world moved by around me, my mind suddenly brought me back to that musty locker room we shared almost 15 years ago and to the vision of young men completing a step drill under BT's gaze. The focus of the image was of Todd, at his only speed, making everyone around him look as if they where standing still.

I got to spend the night with Todd last week after his first round of Chemo...And while I didn't spend every second with him that night, I know that whether I was watching him or not, he was physically and mentally attacking this disease with the same determination and focus that he did in that step drill.

It's that same mentality of conquering every single minute, the way he did with every step in that locker room, that will transcend into what will be the hours, days, months and years of his life after this roadblock. I can assure you that this will happen whether we are watching or not.

In closing ole CLJ is going to leave you with a little fuel for that fire...

We're all with you Sattyball!